ReAnne. Rei-En.

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Tagboard is the 4th heart. :)

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Hmm... Friday when I went school for project meeting, I bumped into him AGAIN. At Bedok interchange and we boarded the same bus. He was going school for exams and I had project consultation.

It seems like fate is playing a joke on me. After telling him I don't want to be friends anymore, I seem to see him even more. It's like, wo men hen you yuan. It's like fate is telling me there's no way I can run away from him. Oh well, this 2nd time that I saw him, I found it kind of funny actually.

I still feel kind of sad now... Sad cos, this person whom I put in so much feelings for doesn't feel anything. He still wants to be friends but he just doesn't understand that it's still going to hurt if I continue to be his friend. Not that I think it affects him whether or not we remain as friends. If its really his wish to still keep me as a friend, I think I got to take some time to cool off and lose my feelings for him before I can accept him as one. Maybe it'll take a while, but I believe it can happen. I just need to stop thinking about him for now.

And bloody hell... Don't lead others on if you don't want karma to find you. It happens, I tell you. (Cos I kena before. Trust me.) And don't make your friends think she's your gf. No one likes to be made use of.

After getting out of my own world and when I talk to my close friends, I realised that I'm not the only one who's down and out in the field of love. It makes me sad to see my friends get hurt. (I suppose that's what they feel when they see me like this too.) Sometimes it just makes me wonder why is it that all around me I see people getting hurt cos of love, and somehow for now, I just don't have the courage to love anyone again.

Nobody likes to get hurt, and cowards like me retreat back into our comfy bullet-proof black-tinted shells so that we won't get hurt again. Ping says after 2 consecutive times of hurt, I should take a break from all this shit. (Ok, last 4 words from me.) I think I should too. I'm really tired. I'm tired of getting hurt... I'm tired of putting too much feelings for people who don't appreciate it... I'm tired of crying... Loving the wrong person, obviously at the wrong time.

I don't believe in love. For now.


~*^*^*~ Once Upon A Time...I Believed.

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